this is a lot to take in all at once
Ice Cream Roses
ALL REGULAR ICE CREAM IS NOW DULL TO ME
If you ever want to bring me flowers, these are the kind I like.
"What’s your favourite flower?"
The horrifying moment when you look around for an adult and realize you are one.
I need adultier adult
#I NEED A BETTER ADULT
AN ADULT WHO CAN SUCCESSFULLY ADULT
Anybody else remember this episode? In it, a female villain called Femme Fatale is stealing millions of dollars in Susan B. Anthony coins. Naturally, the Powerpuff Girls go to stop her. She then convinces them that men are all horrible because female superheroes aren’t as well known as male superheroes, even asking Blossom to name some to where her only answer is Wonder Woman.
They start acting bitter, refusing to do chores when the Professor asks and even telling the Mayor to save the town himself. Ms. Bellum and Ms. Keane talk to the girls and basically explain that being mean to guys won’t do anything and that isn’t the kind of message feminists should put out.
They proceed to beat up Femme Fatale while giving her a history lesson about Susan B. Anthony, the story where she voted and was found guilty because women couldn’t vote back then, but when the judge wanted to let her off easily because she was a woman, she forced them to take her to jail. The girls handle her and the lesson is that misandry will not stop misogny and we all should just respect each other.
And it fell on Tumblr’s deaf ears.
So it’s 3AM and It’s just occurred to me that the most telling scene in the entire Harry Potter franchise is the scene following the announcement of the participants of the Triwizard tournament.
When Harry’s name is pulled out of the cup, literally…
This is the one time of year that I love wasps.
Not because the wasps themselves get any nicer. They’re horrid little creatures year round. No, it’s because I have a couple of big apple trees out back, and late August, early September is when the apples start ripening.
Now, if you don’t harvest your own fruit, there are two things you need to know about apples.
The first thing you need to know about apples is that, when apples get ripe, they tend to fall from the tree at the slightest breeze.
I often work late at the office; by the time I get home, there are piles of apples scattered everywhere - and sure enough, the wasps are out in force, gorging themselves on the fruit. When I go to clean up the windfallen apples, the wasps naturally do the “rawr, I’ma fuck you up!” routine for which wasps are known.
The second thing you need to know about apples is that they ferment very rapidly in the late August heat.
So: the wasps try to come at me, but they’re too drunk to fly. They get about an inch off the ground, then faceplant directly into the turf, flip over onto their backs, and lay there, legs twitching in the air as they try in vain to find something to sting.
Perhaps I’m a man of simple pleasures, but I bust up laughing every. single. time.
I tried to reblog this with a witty tag, but Tumblr took it as serious advice:
YOU CAN TELL HE’S SO PROUD OF HIMSELF AND SO AM I